3 Years to be 19

I had a conversation. A conversation on a terrace, no alcohol involved. Just, you know, the universe drugging you with the understanding you need.
Once in a while you come across moments that feel like you're talking to the embodiment of your subconcious know-it-all and she makes the unsee-able missing link.

In this conversation the subject of talent and succes came up and with that my frustrations about not being able to channel all I want to achieve at this time and how you can hear about other people my age or even younger that seem to already do what they ought to be doing. Jealousy often turns out to be the case and frustrations grow mouldy like persistant fungi that grow in the corner of your dated bathroom.

I was telling the other half of this moment about all the things I wanted to do, obviously no concrete jobs or plans came out of my mouth, but after I while I realised that in order for me to be one of those lucky few who have the gift of decisiveness, I would need about 3 years to be 19.

3 years that a lot of us babyboomers' babies could use to explore, discover, create, achieve and most of all tell, so that after that there's a time to listen, see and achieve even more. But in a state of peace in stead of constant nervousness and regular visits to a psychologist.

Unfortunately, besides the fact that it's just impossible, this number is long gone for me. So what I've decided right now is 22 is my new number. I'll just take my time to be that gifted 19-year old that makes all of us 20 somethings regret or jealous. I declare:

22 is the new 19